It's only textual...

"It's only textual..." is the second part in Fail Date DC's technology series entitled "Technology is the Future, Except When it's Not".

On Friday after work, I started my weekend off in my favorite nail salon, still recovering from a pretty late Thursday night, and enjoying the fact that I didn't have to go into the office for two whole days. As I was flipping through the obligatory nail salon copy of Cosmopolitan magazine, an article about "reading men's communication signals" caught my eye. On any given newstand, on any given month, you can probably find the same article about how to read your man's communication signals or ... how to figure out what he's saying when he's not saying anything... etc., etc. This article, however, specifically discussed how to interpret your crush's "electronic communication" signals. We all know that if a man doesn't return your calls, or doesn't call when he says he will, then thats probably a pretty good sign that he's not very nice, or just doesn't like you. But NOW, when single people meet someone new they potential have to deal with not just calling someone and leaving a phone message, but figuring out "signals" via text, Facebook, myspace, twitter, Skype, Google chat, AIM and the list goes on! Well, maybe the list doesn't go on, but that's still a lot of social networking opportunities!

Anyway, the people at Cosmo warned me to not strike up a relationship with a man who uses Facebook as his main communication tool. They say that if he's Facebooking you, then he's probably Facebooking who knows how many other women! *Gasp!* On the other hand, Cosmo applauds men who text you between the hours of 12:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. Their logic is that these men haven't texted you in the early morning because hopefully they have jobs to go to, but they aren't texting at 11:30 p.m. either, when chances are they are very drunk (Cosmos words, not mine). These men are texting in the daylight hours in the hopes of catching you early enough in the day to make plans for dinner or drinks. Wow, all my dating problems are solved. Thanks Cosmo June 2009 issue, where have you been all my life?! But of course, I jest.

I have recently fallen victim to a "relationship" built solely on Facebook, Google chat, and texting. And, yes, I was still surprised when the texts and Facebook messages stopped as suddenly as they had started. I had just gotten out of a pretty serious relationship, and was drowning my sorrows in college football watching and cheap beer, and was very pleased when a particularly fun guy at the sports bar, who happened to be a friend of a friend, asked for my phone number.

The next day this guy initiated the text messaging dance that would last for about two months. That day we must have texted each other about 15 times! In my post breakup haze I was so eager to get attention from any man, regardless if it was communication in the form of 87 texts. By the end of that first day I was his Facebook friend AND he had tagged me in multiple pictures from the night before. As you can imagine, I was so excited to embark on my new relationship! But because I hadn't read Cosmos' warnings about Facebook and texting at this point in my life, I was in for a rude awakening.

I thought that the amount of time this guy spent texting, facebooking, and google chatting meant something. All these years of dating in DC has made me a little jaded, but I still thought the attention was nice and special. During the two months of electronic communication we hung out in person a total of two times. I was asked out on both of those outings over text or facebook. Now, you might say the reason we didn't hang out anymore than that, is that we just didn't click or he just didn't like me. I would totally accept that theory if not for the excessive amount of texting that followed our second outing. And then one day the texting and facebooking and gchatting ceased abruptly. And I was only left to wonder what had just happened.

So thats how I was essentially courted via text message, asked out multiple times on Facebook and gchat, and then electronically snubbed, all in a matter of 2 or 3 months. The times we spent face to face were terrific and fun and I held on to those memories through the flurry of text messages I would receive from him. I look back on it now, and can't believe how dumb I was to not follow common sense. Which to me is, if a guy isn't calling me, or wants to hang out with me in person, then I shouldn't waste my time. But during my post breakup anxiety, and the plethora of communication tools at my disposal, I took the "easy" way out and basically ended up dating the keypad on my cell phone.

In closing, thanks Cosmo, for your words of utter wisdom, but to avoid any future confusion, I'll probably stick to the good old fashioned phone call.