Drinking and Dating

Sometimes drinking and dating go hand in hand.   Why not have a glass of wine on a first date to ease the butterflies in your stomach?  Heck, why not order a round of tequila shots like my friend Philip.  Wait, on second thought don't do that.  While drinking heavily with your future soul mate or one night stand is never really a good thing, it happens very frequently.  During the ugly cycle of drinking and dating its inevitable that crude things are said, or someone either vomits, falls down, or gets really really angry.

Lately I haven't had a lot to write about regarding my failed dating life, but as I woke up this morning to quite a headache, and some hazy memories of last night,  I remembered how the night ended.  I debated with myself as to whether what happened was actually a dream or not, but no, what had happened was not a dream, rather one of the most futile pick up attempts I've ever experienced.

Jim and I often find ourselves hanging out together.  We have the same circle of friends and he's always a nice, familiar face.  So it was not surprising that Jim and I were at the same party last night.  Jim's always been rather quiet around me, but last night we had some pleasant conversation and laughs.  Then I guess Jim started drinking heavily, can't say exactly what he was drinking, but there were a couple games of flip cup thrown in there.  So eventually Jim became highly intoxicated.  I decided to call it a night and find a cab, when someone nominated Jim to walk me out to make sure I didn't get mugged, stolen, or run over while I was trying to chase down a cab.  How nice!  

We were barely out the door when Jim says to me very quietly, "You and me.  We should have intercourse."  Hmmm...  I thought to myself I must be hearing things.  We walked in the longest silence ever in history while I replayed over and over what I thought he said.  "Did you just say that we should have intercourse?" I questioned in disbelief.  "Yes.  Yes I did," he said matter-of-factly.

Now at this moment I didn't know what to do.  I felt pretty cheap, disgusted, angry, and exhausted.  "Jim, you're a creep, who do you think I am, please go back inside."  He had sat down on the curb and refused to budge.  "I'm serious Jim, that's disgusting,"  I yelled as  I frantically waved down cabs.  I'm sure I almost got hit by a couple of cars, so he wasn't chaperoning me very well...at all.   "Listen, can we at least talk about this?" he asked.  

I finally hopped into a cab and didn't look back.  I'm sure he was still on the curb, pondering why the heck he had chosen to say those things to me, especially the use of  the word "intercourse".  What is he, Amish?

So, with that, Fail Date DC is back!  And although it certainly wasn't a date, it was definitely a fail.