Nice to meet you. What do you do?

What do you do? I feel like that's the first question anyone asks here in DC? "Hi, I'm blondie. What do you do?" I think DC is probably the only place in the world where people start out conversations with that question. I think Washington DC is a town where people often define themselves and their social circle by their jobs; I'm an intern., I work on the Hill., I'm a lawyer., I'm a bike messenger., I'm a waitress. I think that secretly us DCites are just anxiously waiting to tell the other person what WE do for a living and why we are so important. Who knows, maybe I'm the only one who thinks this. But a couple of years ago, I stopped asking "What do you do?" and started asking other questions that I thought would tell me a little bit about the person, but wouldn't instantly put them in their assigned DC job/social circle category. I think the tactic usually works pretty well and is rather friendly, but once it back fired on me big time...

Flashback: I had just started my new job. I had also just ended yet another relationship (Fail), and was licking my wounds with some heavy drinking, while simultaneously trying to make new friends at work. When the Friday Work Happy Hour email popped into my inbox, I was all over it. I would report to the nearest bar at promptly 5:00 pm on Friday and act fabulous in front of my new coworkers.

One drink turned in to one too many drinks. I just want to say that having one too many drinks in front of coworkers is never a good idea. But I'm sure everyone reading this already knows that. Anyway, one of the reasons for the happy hour was to celebrate the fact that one of the organization's old employees, Dan, was back in town. Dan had left the organization to pursue a degree, and I thought he was just back in town to visit and catch up with some old friends. Well...when Dan walked into the bar, it was like the world had stopped in my tipsy little head. He was gorgeous. Dark and handsome, just amazing looking. I yelled to my coworker next to me, "OH MY GOD, WHO IS THAT?". My coworker turned to me and in a more appropriate whisper said, "That's Dan. He's cute, right?" Then I proceeded to blab, pretty loudly, about all the ways I thought that he was cute, and marriage material, and a hidden gem, and gift from god, oh, let me count they ways!!! Bottom line is that I made a fool out of myself, everyone at the bar knew I thought Dan has hot by the end of the night, and I had fallen all over myself talking to him.

Unbeknownst to me, Dan had come back to DC to continue working at my organization after completing his studies. Not one of my new coworker friends had decided to tell me that, because they all knew this as fact, and I guess just thought that I knew and was acting rather inappropriately.

The following Monday morning I was sitting at my lowly cubicle, and I hear, "Hey blondie." Turning around, I saw him. Dan. Dan in suit, dressed for work at the office. I squeaked out a quiet "hi" and must have looked so confused as he walked away. That's when I found out that Dan had come back to work for the organization and I would see him Monday through Friday for the rest of my life.

I was so embarrassed. I had made the fatal error of not asking him "What do you do?". Which was just plain dumb, because I didn't even think to ask him about his career plans at all during the Friday Work Happy Hour mess. I was just concentrating on his face. I have since overcome my embarrassment and Dan and I are good work acquaintances. But although it might not be my opening line, I always ask "What do you do?" before professing love to complete strangers.